The Myth of German Punctuality and Other Seasonal Delusions
Germany is the Wurst No. 24
Does anyone want to hear a good joke? Ok, here it goes: Public transportation in Germany is punctual and efficient. Hahaha.
All jokes aside, public transportation may have a reputation for being pünklich only among those who have never actually traveled with the train in Germany. In fact, my husband and some of his coworkers had a WhatsApp Group in which they would share delayed suburban train (S-Bahn) connections so that they could all get reimbursed from the Stadtwerke Verkehrsgesellschaft, which is, I have to admit, efficient, if not somewhat questionable in terms of legality. Anyway, perhaps this reputation for punctuality stems from a certain stereotype of Germans as a stern and efficient people who value stability and are afraid of change (Where is Mutti?). Another common, albeit more colorful stereotype, is that of a bunch of holly, jolly Bavarians dancing around and drinking mugs of beer, but I’m not talking about those Germans.
As I mentioned in my last newsletter, after taking the more or less standard year of paid maternity leave, I have since returned to the workforce. Not only do I now wake up every morning in the midst of an existential crisis pondering questions such as “Is working for the man worth it?” and “Why do my kids enjoy going to daycare so much, am I a bad mom or am I just lacking certain talents in arts and crafts?”, but I also now commute with public transportation to my job in the public sector and let me tell you, I am rarely punctual.
Chalk it up to the Fachkräftemangel (shortage of skilled workers) that is currently the plight of the German economy or the fact that as soon as anyone develops a slight cough they make an appointment with their general physician and are sent home sick for a week (does medical school in Germany simply entail writing people sick notes?). Either way, there has not been one single week within the past two months that I have been able to get to work on time with a reliable public transportation connection.
Lucky for me, working in the public sector means that I have to be neither punctual nor efficient. And, with all of the time I spent waiting for my subway to bus connection these past few months, I got to thinking about which aspects of daily life in Germany actually live up to the Pünklichkeit stereotype.
Christmas cookies in August
Nothing throws off my internal seasonal rhythm like the sight of Christmas cookies at groceries stores towards the end of August. I simply cannot stomach the sight of Stollen and Spekulatius when I’m still mentally on Sommerurlaub and my kids are just heading back to daycare. Furthermore, Halloween and Thanksgiving are two major fall holidays that chronologically have to take place before Christmas. And, while I am aware that Germans do not celebrate Thanksgiving and Halloween is actually Reformationstag, can’t the Christmas cookies wait at least until November? Whatever the reason, you can count on Christmas cookies to make an überpünktlich appearance at grocery stores in Germany.
Booking Vacations
After my husband and I got engaged, we immediately shared the happy news with our families. At the time, I was taken aback by the responses from my husband’s family members, which ensued a quick congratulations followed by a swift overview of their vacation plans for the following year. “We are going to Spain in October with our tango group.” “We are taking a cruise in September.” Perhaps you are wondering what kind of tango-dancing, cruise-obsessed people these are, but planning and booking their vacations extremely punctually is just really, really important to Germans. This leads me to ask the proverbial vacation question: if you do not book your vacation at least a year in advance, is it even considered vacation?
Changing out Sommer- und Winterreifen
As someone who comes from somewhere where we get a lot of snow, I’ve always wondered what the big deal is with Winterreifen, or winter tires, in places in Germany that do not get much snow. Case in point, my husband, the good German that he is, punctually changed out our Sommerreifen for Winterreifen this year in October, which I consider to be extremely punctual, if not extremely unnecessary, as the temperature this year on Halloween was a balmy 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Nevertheless, we were indeed prepared for the inevitable overnight dusting of snow we got in mid-November, which immediately melted by morning. As I’m writing this newsletter, the high today was a nice, warm 59 degrees Fahrenheit, which was more reminiscent of Easter (better get the Sommerreifen back out).
Registering for daycare
When my daughter was born, we punctually registered her for daycare the very next day, or so we thought. When we received our registration confirmation from the city daycare platform, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the following sentence: Sollte Ihr Kind zum jetzigen Zeitpunkt noch ungeboren sein, so ist eine erneute Kontaktaufnahme spätestens vier Wochen nach der Geburt notwendig. (If your child is not yet born at this time, you will need to contact us again no later than four weeks after the birth.) Wait, some parents are so überpünklich that they register their kids for daycare before they are born? The thought had never even crossed my mind. And, although we registered my daughter a year in advance, we were eventually placed on a waiting list.
On separate note, I have a German wine joke for you: What do you get when you cross a Frühburgunder and a Spätburgunder? A Pünklichburgunder!
Alright, I’ll stop with the jokes now while I’m still ahead.
Ok I am so not pünktlich. I even register my kid late to Kita, after being too late in finding a Hebamme during pregnancy (some look for one at the first sight of a double line on the stick!), and I am late in everything else. Lucky for me though, in southwest Germany, the Germans are not as pünktlich, maybe thanks to the sunny southern position we have. I am no expert, but it seems to me usually the south part of a country is more laidback. But don't quote me on it :)
Loved the mirror in front of my face. 😁