German Christmas Traditions According to Dwight from The Office

Germany is the Wurst No. 26

A few weeks ago at work, I got to chatting with some coworkers about Christmas traditions in Germany. Granted, I am no expert on such traditions, as I do not observe them myself; nevertheless, I have been living here for many years and therefore, gained a good amount of intel about how the Grinch stole Christmas Germans celebrate Christmas. Whether we are in the U.S. or not, my family and I celebrate an American-style Christmas, which starts by putting milk and cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve and ends with my kids tearing open their presents on Christmas morning. In Germany, however, the festivities are somewhat anti-cyclical to those in the U.S. and last for a total of three days, starting with Heiligabend on December 24th, continuing on to the 1. Weihnachtstag, and ending with the 2. Weihnachtstag, although both of these days are in my opinion about as superfluous and unnecessary as the German Bundespräsident, as all the action is crammed into one day on December 24th.

What, then, does a typical German Christmas look like? Well, as mentioned above, the festivities start on Christmas Eve, or Heiligabend. For Germans, this day is considered to be the main Christmas celebration, even though I have never been able to understand why, in a country where retail stores and supermarkets are closed on Sundays, these shops are open for half a day on December 24th, undoubtably the most important day of Christmas festivities. Anyways, after people are finished shopping and/or working, they prepare a simple meal of sausages with potato salad or lentil soup, and kids open presents that evening delivered by the Christkind or the Weihnachtsmann. The next day, on December 25th, or the 1. Weihnachtstag, families get together and enjoy a Christmas feast of roast beast goose (I’ve been reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas as a bedtime story since Thanksgiving, give me a break). The following and final day of Christmas celebrations, the 2. Weihnachtstag on December 26th, has also always been a mystery to me, as most people do not have anything special planned other than spending time with their families or going out to eat. Actually, we have Martin Luther to thank for not only shaking up the Catholic Church, but also for designating two days of Christmas in Germany, as there used to be discrepancies about how long Christmas was celebrated, ranging from two to five days. Martin set two days (cheapskate) as a standard celebration time and this has been the case in Germany ever since. Danke, Merkel Martin!

All this talk of Christmas merriment got me to thinking about how else I could explain German Christmas traditions to those who are not so familiar with them. Since I myself do not observe such traditions, I could think of no one better than the fictional character Dwight Schrute, Volunteer Sheriff Deputy and Assistant (to) the Regional Manager in the American version of The Office. If you haven’t had the pleasure of watching The Office, I suggest using the surplus of days off from work during the Christmas and New Year’s holidays to do so (wait, what day is it again?). Stromberg, on the other hand, is not worth the trouble.

The following is in no way an exhaustive list of German Christmas traditions, but, in my opinion, it covers some Christmas season highlights in Germany.

1. Glühwein

In The Office: Season 9, Episode 9, “Dwight’s Christmas,” the Party Planning Committee forgets to put together a Christmas party and as a default, allows Dwight to organize a traditional Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas Party. And, as astutely noted by The Office writers, there would be no Christmas season in Germany without Glühwein. One of the characters, Meredith, takes a swig and asks in disgust, “What is this stuff, lava?” which also happens to be my sentiments exactly on roter Glühwein. While Glühwein is not really used to sterilize medical instruments, as Dwight suggests, it does have around an 8.5% alcohol content, making it stronger than say, a beer at 5% ABV. Traditionally, Glühwein comes in a red or white wine variety and is slowly heated with spices and citrus to give it a mulled wine flavor. Given the choice, I always choose white Glühwein, as red Glühwein in my opinion really does taste like sugary lava. Additionally, this year I also sampled blueberry Glühwein, cherry Glühwein, and spiced apple Glühwein. Although I do have to admit, my favorite warm drink around Christmas time isn’t Glühwein at all, but the hessian alternative of heißer Äppler, or hot apple wine. Pick your poison, Glühwein is best served on a mild-thanks-to-global-warming December night, overpriced at a Weihnachtsmarkt.

2. Belsnickel

After serving some Glühwein, Dwight proceeds to light a candle and read a poem that I can only assume is “Advent,” before pausing to ask “What is that I hear?” as if he had heard the bells on Santa’s sleigh. Instead of dressing up like Santa Claus, like his coworkers may have expected, he arrives as Belsnickel, “a crotchety, fur-clad gift giver related to other companions of St. Nicholas in the folklore of southwestern Germany.” When I was a kid growing up, we were told St. Nick and Santa would bring us lumps of coal if we misbehaved, but Germans, like Dwight, are more serious about instilling fear in young children. For example, I see a lot of German kids with pacifiers, which may be a response to one of the cautionary tales from Struwwelpeter, in which a child sucking his thumb gets it cut off by a deranged tailor. Anyways, it is not uncommon in villages for someone to dress up like Belsnickel or Knecht Ruprecht, another companion of St. Nick who does the dirty dead of leaving coal for naughty kids. As I parent myself I tend to prefer more looming, ambiguous Stasi-like threats, such as “Santa is watching you.”

3. Weihnachtsstern

There is one aspect in the episode “Dwight’s Christmas” that only a carefully trained eye of German culture would notice. A Weihnachtsstern can be seen hanging from the ceiling by Jim’s desk as part of the Christmas decorations. If you have ever been to a Christmas market in Germany, then you have definitely seen a Weihnachtsstern. The Weihnachtsstern are made out of paper and have a light inside, which people display in their windows during the Advent season and Christmas holidays. Much like the star of Bethlehem they represent, they are a welcome sight of brightness during the extremely dark days and depressing weather here in December.

4. Christmas goose or Weihnachtsgans

In a previous season of The Office, at the beginning of Season 3, Episode 10, “A Benihana Christmas,” Dwight arrives at work in the morning with a dead goose and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. After Pam looks at him in dismay, he explains that his accidentally running over the goose is a Christmas miracle and that preparing the goose is the only correct thing to do, as the meat has a “delicious, rich, smokey flavor.” I can neither confirm nor deny that goose meat is delicious, as I have never eaten a goose. However, in Germany, goose with red cabbage and potato dumplings is a common dish to serve for St. Martin’s Day or the 1. Weihnachtstag.

However you choose to celebrate the holiday season, whether it be a traditional Pennsylvania Dutch, German or American Christmas celebration, I wish everyone reading Germany is the Wurst a Happy Holidays!