Let's Talk Politics: U.S.-German Political Doppelgängers
Germany is the Wurst No. 22
What do you mean “let’s talk politics?” Everyone knows politics is economics, stupid.
Unfortunately, I know little about economics and, ipso facto, little about politics. However, due to the U.S. Presidential Election taking place today, which has garnered worldwide attention for being a shit show highly contested political battle, I got to thinking about the similarities and differences between politicians and political campaigns in the United States and Germany. Don’t worry, I didn’t make a Venn diagram à la Kamala Harris.
For example, German politicians are generally more well-behaved than their American counterparts and their political campaigns tend to focus on giant posters with headshots and vague but optimistic slogans. American politicians, on the other hand, merely have “concepts of a plan” and mainly revolve around the flaws of their political opponents, creating a politics of resentment rather than enlightenment.
Although, I will give creativity points to whoever came up with the “Cats for Trump” posters I saw when I was in Wisconsin last month.
After years of living abroad and reading new sources from both the U.S. and Germany, I’ve become familiar with not only politicians in the U.S., where I am allowed to vote, but also in Germany, where I am not yet allowed to vote.
Here are, in no particular order, some of my favorite political pairings of American and German politicians:
Joe Biden and Angela Merkel
This is an obvious one. Joe Biden and Angela Merkel are life-long politicians at the end (or near the end) of their political careers, and both held the highest office in their respective countries. The German media, and most Germans, referred to Frau Dr. Merkel as “Mutti,” depicting her as the mother of Germany who ensured stability and prosperity for her country. On the contrary, the American media has not been so kind to Joe Biden, casting him as a forgetful and inept old man, who acts, quite honestly, more or less like I would expect any normal person over 80 years old to act, let alone while running the most powerful country on earth.
Donald Trump and Franz Josef Strauß
Imagine Donald Trump in the heyday of German politics, except with a Bavarian accent and a more extensive and creative vocabulary. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Franz Josef Strauß was Minister President of Bavaria from 1978 until 1988 and a member of the Christian Social Union (CSU), Germany’s most conservative political party accepted by the mainstream media. I have to offer a disclaimer here: Strauß was probably more of a product of his time than a direct comparison to modern-day Donald Trump and he played a major role in modernizing Bavaria’s economy. Still, like Trump, the man had a flair for the dramatic and for polarizing German politics. For example, he was quoted as saying he would “rather grow pineapples in Alaska than become Chancellor of Germany” and described students in the extra-parliamentary opposition as “dirty Viet-Cong supporters who have sex in public.” Sound familiar?
Kamala Harris and Annalena Baerbock
If Kamala Harris is America’s fun aunt, then Annalena Baerbock is Germany’s sustainable-living cousin who brews her own kombucha and drinks oat milk cappuccinos. All jokes aside, both women reached historical political firsts in their respective countries, as Kamala Harris was the first woman to be elected Vice President of the United States and Annalena Bearbock is the first woman to serve as Federal Minister for Foreign Affairs in Germany.
Tim Walz and Boris Pistorius
Tim Walz and Boris Pistorius are two older-ish white guys who suddenly became political darlings, prompting many to ask, “Where have you been?” Tim Walz as nominee for Vice President on the Harris ticket was the Democratic solution to appeal to basically everyone else in America besides New York and California. Across the pond, Boris Pistorius was appointed Federal Minister of Defence in 2023 and had Germans contemplating that perhaps it is a good idea to have an organized and well-stocked military when a war is in going on in close proximity to your country. If Germany needs any more help with defense spending, they can just take a page out the U.S. playbook as the world’s top military spender.
J.D. Vance and Philipp Amthor
If Tim Walz and Boris Pistorius are two older-ish white guys making a splash, then J.D. Vance and Philipp Amthor are their young-ish conservative counterparts. These two have more in common than one might think: both are politically ambitious, tech-adjacent (Vance worked in Silicon Valley; Amthor lobbied for a U.S. tech firm), and represent "left behind" regions, Appalachia and Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, respectively.
Ted Cruz and Markus Söder
Yeehaw! Ted Cruz and Markus Söder are two conservative politicians who have a dominate regional influence, as U.S. Senator from Texas and head of the CSU and Minister President of Bavaria, a.k.a. the Texas of Germany. As the saying goes, “Don’t mess with Texas,” (this is actually just part of an anti-littering campaign). Nevertheless, if this is the case, then you definitely don’t want to mess with Bavaria, a place where neighbors allegedly reported each other to the police for breaking COVID-19 protocol and summer breaks for the school system are scheduled whenever the Bavarians darn well please.
Josh Shapiro and Hendrik Wüst
Josh Shapiro and Hendrik Wüst are another good example of dominant regional politicians, but are the moderate, glasses-wearing, and quietly competent. Both serve as heads of their respective states Pennsylvania and North Rhine-Westphalia as Governor and Minister President and are potential future candidates for the big ticket.
Bernie Sanders and Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann
At first glance Bernie Sanders and Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann may not seem like they have a whole lot in common, even if they do look somewhat alike. Bernie is one of the most progressive political figures in the United States and the longest serving independent politician in U.S. congressional history, while Frau Strack-Zimmermann is a member of the German Bundestag and belongs to the Free Democratic Party (FDP). They may represent different ideological orientations, but both are passionate politicians who can get a little grumpy from time to time, such as Frau Strack-Zimmermann inventing a verb to describe someone complaining like Markus Söder or the Bernie Sanders mittens meme. Additionally, both politicians started out their political careers at the local level, with Bernie serving as the mayor of Burlington, Vermont and Strack-Zimmermann as mayor of Düsseldorf.
Tomorrow, one of these politicians mentioned will elected as the next President of the United States. And the rest, by all accounts, is history.